I live in the desert. It’s so dry they measure the average amount for every five years. I spend most of my life very thirsty.
Today I was walking to a friend’s house for our accountability. As I walked, the wind picked up pelting my face with swirling sand and dirt. And I just kept thinking, is it worth trudging through all this dirt and getting sand in my mouth just to share all the ick in my life? Do I really want to show all the evil inside of me with another person? No, indeed I do not. So why am I forcing myself through the wind and the sand to do so?
Squinting, I watched a guy on a bike with his arm raised above his head working hard to keep the cleaned curtains he was delivering from touching the dirty ground. Unfortunately, his delivery wasn’t covered, so the dirt and dust in the air was pummeling their clean threads. But it was a nice try. Others were sweeping the dirt off their part of what could be considered a sidewalk or rinsing the dust off their cars. I shook my head in wonderment knowing their hard work was futile. As I continued my trek, I watched countless people try to rid themselves of the dirt and grime that collects in this bustling city. It’s a losing battle fought every day to be clean.
And I realized something: that’s why I am accountable to another person. I can sweep the cobwebs out of the corners of my heart. But can I truly be clean on my own? Can I do the things I want to desire to do and not do the things I wish I wouldn’t on my own? Even the apostle Paul struggled with this. So I bowed my head against the dust and sand and persevered to my friend’s house determined to allow my accountability partners to help me clean out my heart.
While at my friend’s house we stopped mid sentence when we thought we heard thunder. She jumped up and opened the windows so that we could confirm the rumbling was indeed a beautiful, albeit rare, sound from heaven. And then it happened, another clap of thunder and a downpour. A gloriously wonderful shower. We stopped and simply watched the purifying water as it poured from the clouds. Rain falls so rarely here that when it comes it gives great reason to pause.
Then just as quickly as it arrived, it ended and we continued our discussion.
As I hopped over puddles and waded through rivers in the street on my way home, I was astonished at how sparkly my city became. In just a short time everything went from tired and dust covered to sparkling. It is amazing what a little water can do.
The same could be said for my heart. As I shared all the good, bad and ugly places inside of me, the rain of the Spirit was able to enter and wash away all the dirt and grime that had built up. Afterwards, my heart felt clean and beautiful. I felt free and full of peace, joy and love. For a few moments my heart was truly pure before my God.
I can’t wait for our next accountability meeting.