Exercise Nazis

I joined a gym this week. It’s a gym only for women and has a salon inside. I’ve missed going to classes and getting to know ladies, so I was looking forward to joining.

I’m also working on my physical trainers license. It’s mostly for the business we’re starting, but also because I find the field interesting and want to improve myself in the health and fitness area. So needless to say, I’ve been reading a lot in my giant textbooks outlining various muscle groups, about training and the best way to do this.

Enter trainer at my new gym. Let’s call her exercise nazi. In order to gain passage into the wonderful world of spinning, Zumba and elliptical machines, I had to go through her. She ceremoniously takes out a giant paper where she would painstakingly note all the things I was to do. First order of business? Run for ten minutes as a warm up. I am not a runner. I hate running. I occasionally might jog a bit for some interval training while walking but that’s the extent of my abilities as a runner. When I explained that running wouldn’t be a great warm up for me, she informed me that I must shock my body into the workout. Now my brain is swimming in all the facts I read recently about the importance of gently rising warm up.

Exercise nazi then had me go through a circuit of machines. As a physical training student, i recognize the importance of strength training. However, for each one, she placed the weight about double where it should be for me. When I asked to stretch my muscles a bit since they were tight, she said no because I shouldn’t need to stretch. The longer my workout went, the more bad, old, and ridiculous information I was told. The cobra pose is better than a crunch for abs. You must complete 2 sets of 15 reps regardless of if you can or not or if you’ve ever done the exercise or if your arms are shaking so badly you can’t hold the bar anymore. Stretching should only be done on cold muscles, so stretching when your muscles are warm won’t help. Don’t drink anything.

After torturing me for 45 minutes doing boot camp style exercises, she informed me I should now run for thirty minutes, increasing the speed every minute and then not do a cool down because its not needed. Yeah, that was not going to happen. Neither is the next training session for which I was told not to eat anything prior to the workout.

Now that I have passed through the fire, I am now able to move about the castle. Zumba, here I come!

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